Monday, 07 December 2009
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Hamburgers are Amazing
I’m not what you’d call a fine food aficionado. I’ve never had escargot, pan-seared salmon makes me want to puke, and when I take a sip of wine I make a face like I just got punched in the dick.
That being said, I do know something tasty when I taste it. You know what’s almost always tasty? Hamburgers.
My apologies for all of our vegetarian readers, but I think the good old-fashioned Hamburger warrants himself a rate in this space. I’m a meat eater, and I have been a meat eater (with one ill-advised hiatus) since I was born. When I look back over my history of meat-eating, I think I have ingested one meat in particular the most.
Ground Beef. My favorite form to ingest ground beef is Hamburgers. So there you have it, I think I have eaten more hamburgers in my life than other type of food.
It’s not just the frequency of hamburgers to stomach; it’s more than that. Think about it, when’s the last time you had a bad hamburger? I don’t know about you, but I can’t really remember a time when I’ve had a bad hamburger. Sure, I can remember some hamburgers that are better than others, but not a single one has been “bad”. Even frozen hamburgers from fast food joints taste delicious. Even hamburgers in other countries are serviceable. It’s the one food that you can’t fuck up. Always a safe bet wherever you may be eating.
Not only are hamburgers almost universally delicious, they are usually always one of the cheapest things on the menu. They are an affordable option for those of us on a tight budget. My ideal hamburger price is free, my usual hamburger price is 8 dollars, my manageable hamburger price is 10 dollars, and I don’t go to places that are nicer than that. Even if you somehow get sucked into a restaurant where a hamburger costs 12 dollars, the hamburger is still cheaper than just about anything else that that restaurant has. And if said restaurant has the gall to be charging 12 bucks for a hamburger, at least take solace in the fact that it ought to be a damn good hamburger.
Not to mention, Hamburgers are also the food of choice at perhaps my favorite warm weather activity, outdoor BBQ’s.
So thank you, noble cows, and thank you noble machine that grinds cow innards into easily moldable meat, and thank you noble grill or pan that turns said meat into my hamburger. You have performed admirably in my eyes, and more importantly my stomach for the past 23 odd years. Here’s hoping for many happy returns.
How 'bout it couchsters, let's hear it for the hamburger...
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Comments (8)
Yum! Burgers = Love
do you like burgers with ground chicken or turkey too? I make a mean stuffed burger, stuffed with cheese and stuff. got the recipe from mister big bites show
I have had several bad experiences with burgers. I was at a McDonalds that served me one that was literally pink and ice cold in the middle, (I had already eaten half of it...not a pretty sight) I made the mistake of ordering one in Juarez and...let's just say whatever it was, it wasn't beef (lesson learned) oh and I have the HORRIBLE luck of encountering large bone shards in my burgers whenever I order them from just about anywhere...therefore, I do not care to buy a burger from anywhere. If I want a one, I buy a steak, get it ground at the store and make my own at home. That way I know what's in it, and they're pretty damn amazing if I do say so myself...and I do.
I could live on hamburgers, but my Russian relatives will say I turn my back on my roots or call me a traitor. Gahh.
@Rebel - Well I say your Russian relatives are communists and wear funny hats.
Excuse me, this has nothing to do with your blog. I happen to have seen your Megan Fox blog and I gotta say, I agree that Megan Fox is a pretty unattractive woman to begin with, but it's the tattoo part that bothers me. Sure, I'm sure hers are pretty meaningless but it bothered me what you said about tattoos in general. When nicely done and conveying a meaning, tattoos are wonderful works of art. An equivalent to any great work of art, just on a human canvas. There is absolutely nothing trashy about many people who wear tattoos. In your blog, you said women of every form were fine unless they were Megan Fox, yet you made some kind of generalization about tattoos, which also come in all forms and not always on those women at the bar.
@Mrs. Knuckles - I'm sorry. I like tattoos. I have a female friend with a tattoo of a Dinosaur on her ribcage. It's badass. I just think Megan Fox's tattoos are trashy.
Yay for hamburger!